Sunday, August 26, 2007

In the darkness, God gives us an eye to see the most beautiful things

"Life is beautiful", this is a story in the Fascist Concentration Camp, in that young boy's eyes. He did not see the cruel, inhuman suffering, but only love and hope.In the darkness, God gives us an eye to see the most beautiful things.

In my darkest days, fascists groups used their mind control weapons to torture and harass me in a cruel way. My body was pain and aching; I had trouble breathing; I suffered from many kinds of terrible disease because of their torture. I was not allowed to sleep; they even prevented me from thinking freely; they used insulting words to attack me and had an insulting behavior to harm my personality; they cruelly trampled my human dignity; I tried to look for help, but no one came to stop their long-lasting torture and harassment. They are still here to torture me and harass me 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, they are trying to destroy all my hopes.

But in the darkness, God gives me an eye to see the most beautiful things. When I felt that I could not go on, God gave me an eye to see that He was there.

When I used up my last funds and I was still suffering from torture and harassment, I sat in front of the window, and asked God: "Why could human beings be so bad and cruel." The cloudless sky suddenly filled with cloud and rain. God was with me. When I was crying, God was also crying.
When I did not have a single cent with me nor any food to eat, I was still suffering from torture and harassment. I sat on the seashore, I saw a half dried rose, I prayed to God:”I want that Rose!" That evening, it rained the whole night. The second morning, I saw the dried rose blooming, with two crystal-clear raindrops on it. It was so beautiful.
During my first three years' suffering, I always heard God's voice:”You must be patient and forgiving! You only need to be good!" So I always told those fascists I would forgive them if they could keep their weapons away from me. But they never stopped their cruel torture.
Every time I tried to do a few good things, God gave me the highest reward.

When I was suffering, I spent more time to be very close to the nature. I took a lot of pictures of flowers, of insects and of nature.I found at least six kinds of spiders in a garden; I found the mosquito's legs have three white dots; I found small fish eating the moss that grows in the wood under the water; I found that grass also has very small pink flowers. I found the peach flowers blooming like pink cloud over the hills and the dales; I planted all kinds of vegetables and saw the seeds coming out of the soul and I watched them grow and cover the entire garden; I saw the cherries grow and I picked cherries from the tree; I saw apricots slowly turn to orange color...........

When I was suffering, I also met some people who had a kind heart; who let me stay in their house and only charged me a small amount per month; who gave me a jacket to wear in cold rainy days; who drove me around to look for new accommodation but did not charge me much; who lent me a telephone card to let me make a phone call; who worked so hard to expose those torturers and jeopardized their life.
During the darkest days of this tormented life, I met a lot of people who have been working hard to fight against this cruel and inhuman torture. They are volunteers working hard for human rights and freedom. They help each other out of generosity; when I need help, I can find so many helping hands all over the world, in any country, in any part of the world. When in the middle of the night, perpetrators torture me a lot, and I feel that I cannot go on, they chat with me on the computer, tell me what they have done, bring me some good news, look on the bright side and encourage me to go on with my work. I am so grateful to all the people from China, Russia, USA, Canada, Britain, Germany, France, Belgium, Finland, Holland, Denmark, India, Japan, South Korea, Australia, South Africa and many other countries.

When I was suffering, mom brought the food to my bed three times a day for three months until I decided to go to the office to try to do some business work; mom brought me a cup of milk to my bed and massaged my legs and head every night before sleeping; one night the office security guide was not around, so I had to stay in the office, mom and dad drove their tricycles to come to my office. If bandits and thieves were to come, they said they would protect me. Dad was already 73 at that time;

During the past few years:
Mom is my physician, she has studied Chinese herbal medicine and tries to cure all my diseases.
Mom is my nurse; she carefully looks after me everyday.
Mom is my butler; she takes care of everything in my life.
Mom is a nutritionist, she designs our daily nutritional balanced diet;
Mom is a chef, she cooks three meals a day for us.
Mom is my psychological doctor, she channels my negative feelings. When I am down, she will cheer me up.
Mom is my welfare agency; she is responsible for all my expenses. Since the first year I came back to China, she has started to deposit money for my old age expenses and my pension costs.

Mom did not know my story, she did not know I was suffering from mind control weapons torture, she only knew I was badly sick.
Mom got cancer because of me. When she saw I was suffering, she suffered more than I did. Even if mom was sick, the only one she cared for was her child, not herself. She hurried to help me to look for a boyfriend (unfortunately, I could not find one), she wanted me to get married earlier to have a baby earlier. Mom said: "Now I can look after you, after we die, who will look after you? You must find a boyfriend who can look after you after we die." "You must have a baby as soon as possible, now I am still able to work hard and help you to bring up the child. If I am ill and cannot work any longer, who will help you to bring up your child?"

In order not to stay at home all day doing nothing and making mom worry more, I tried to do business. However, given the torture and sufferings inflicted by my tormentors, I was not fit to do any business. I cannot work properly to support myself. This makes mom worry a lot. But mom always has a story in store for me:" You have a land, you can plant corn but if it does not yield a good harvest, you can plant peanuts instead; if peanuts do not yield a good harvest, you can plant beans, if beans do not yield a good harvest, and you can plant cotton. Now, you are doing business. If no one can do business with you, you can still find someone else. Just don't give up, you will always find something good for you."

When I finally decided to fight against those torturers, I asked mom: "If a girl was sent to jail by some terrorists, how could she get some help?" Mom said:" She can write many notes and throw them out of the window-slit every day." "Never give up, one note -paper at least, will be found by some kind people and they will come and help you." Since 2005 I have sent more than 300,000 emails all over the world. I called all these letters "notepapers from the window-slits" or "matches from the little match girl."

I called myself a little match girl, selling matches in the cold days. When I sent out one letter, I told myself, I lit up one match, and wished there would be someone who could see the Faint flames and come to help me. I wished I could light up a torchlight in everyone's heart.


AJH said...

I get this too; constant harassment and gangstalking with full family involvement.

More of me at;


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Anonymous said...

Organized Gang Stalking, Chennai, India.
Read your book '12 years in the grave'. A very good, highly informative book on Organized Stalking and Electronic Harassment.
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